OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
