We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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