the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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