I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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