so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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