apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
