Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
