You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
