I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
