oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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