If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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