just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
