This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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