hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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