ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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