oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
