Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
