Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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