i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
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Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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