so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
