There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
