all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
