I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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