You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
