I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
