I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
