No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
