I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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