it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she looked like the before picture.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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