The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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