She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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