how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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