The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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