it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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