after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
