great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Randomize
