my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
