i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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