I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
handjob tips. give me some.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
