I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize