Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
