By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm at about main and main street
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
