You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
