shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
