So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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