so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
