I think my vagina is haunted
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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