I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
