you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
sex in a hospital.. check
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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