just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
