The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
