i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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