We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
