walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
