I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
