I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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