So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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