I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
