k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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