Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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