the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
