He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
