remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
