Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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