normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
