It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
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I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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